While I was in Michigan, I had a chance to get a taste of Mom’s celebrity knowledge. It’s easy to overlook mom’s pop culture knowledge because, honestly, it is pretty slim. She probably thinks Richard Gere is a huge box office draw and feels like “My Heart Will Go On” is the top song of the year. However, on occasion her limited grasp of various famous people and what’s happening to them is pretty amusing. A few examples: On Chaz Bono: Me: “Mom, do you watch Dancing with the Stars?” Mom: “Yeah.” Me: “Who’s left?” Mom: “Oh, I don’t know.” Me: “What did you think of Chaz Bono’s dancing?” Mom: “Ugh, disgusting.” I brace myself, preparing for my mom to talk negatively about Chaz’s sexual reassignment surgery and how he used to be female. Seeing as how Mom appears grossed out, I figure that’s the logical direction she’s going. Me: “What do you mean?” Mom: “He sooooo fat! Spinnin’ on dance floor with belly jiggling. He shake one buttcheek 150 lbs, other buttcheek 150 lbs. Nasty.” Me, laughing: “So you don’t like him because he’s fat?” Not where I thought she’d go, but I’m nonetheless not surprised, just slightly relieved. On the Kardashians: Me: “Mom, do you know who the Kardashians are?” Mom: “Yeah, they models or something. Sisters and brother? They think they so sheck-shee!” Me, chuckling: “Sheck-shee?” Mom: “Yeah, they strut around, think they so sheck-shee and hot.” According to scientific research studies based on vitro test subjects, it helps boost protein synthesis and increases muscle mass while cheap viagra india reducing fat and helping to improve the immune system. If you have a list full of harvested email addresses or http://deeprootsmag.org/2014/06/10/surf-verse-2014/ generic cialis in australia a list of other marketers, you will not make much progress. But now there are some effective medications available to treat sexual problem in men, especially problem known tadalafil price as erectile dysfunction is popularly known as, can be treated with the help of the Kamagra pills. Different contraptions and points have offered solutions throughout time, but people have questioned whether these potions actually worked, or if they were using their thumb or a cock ring to place pressure at the...

It’s just under a month before I head to the midwest and visit my Korean mom and my brother who genially puts up with her. The original plan was to fly to Chicago and spend a few days in the Windy City since my boyfriend has never been, then drive to Detroit and spend a few days cursing Tim Allen and his deceptive Pure Michigan commercials (“I don’t recall seeing any fast food chains or slums in those sweeping lake shots…”). After doing some research, however, I found out that it is obscenely expensive to rent a car in one state and drop it off in another. It turned out to be loads cheaper to book a short flight from Chicago to Detroit and rent a car at the airport (not to mention faster) than to drive, so we changed our plans slightly. When it came time to call Mom and inform her of the brief switch, I didn’t think it would be a big deal (oh how I underestimate that tiny Asian woman). She didn’t pick up so I left a quick message letting her know that we were now flying to Detroit and would just pick up a car. I hung up and thought nothing more of the matter. Roughly 40 minutes later, my Mom called back. Me: “Hello?” Mom: “Rebecca!” Me: “Yeah?” Mom: “What’s wrong!?” Me: “What?” Mom: “What’s wrong?? You call! Something wrong?!!” Me: “What the–no! Didn’t you listen to the message I left you?” I could have sworn she knows how to check her voicemail, but considering this is the same woman who I once caught trying to change the channel by pointing the cordless phone at the television, you never know. side effects viagra Microwaves redefined the way our food was cooked. With the help of its active constituent, Sildenafil , it improves the cheapest cheap viagra blood supply to the male reproductive system. You start with a 2006 report from the Swedish Medical Products and services Agency, a powerful link between Propecia and lasting impotence problems is present free viagra in australia in studies worldwide. This works as good as their branded counterparts are. cheap cialis check for more info Mom: “No,...

Last year I did my first Ironman despite my mom’s protest that I was “gonna die,” and this year I drove up to Penticton, British Columbia to watch my friends do the race and to sign up for 2012. When I got back home, I called my mom and debated telling her about my plans to do the race again (since she was less than thrilled about me doing it the first time around). I ended up calling her and tried to ease it into the conversation. Mom: “Hi honeyyyyy! What you doing?” Me: “Not much, what are you up do?” Mom: “I watching ‘American Got Talent.'” (She always calls it that, as if the show is about one dude who can do something somewhat interesting.) Me: “I was out of town in Canada this past weekend.” Mom: “Oh, Vancouver?” Me: “No, Penticton.” Mom: “Pen…ton?” Me: “Penticton, British Columbia. It’s where that race I did last year was.” Mom: “Oh.” Me: “I was watching my friends do the race this year.” Mom: “Ah, I see. How they do?” Me: “For the most part they did really well. It was really hot out, like mid-90s, so it was a tough day.” Mom: “My gahhhhh. 90s? It’s hot and humid here in Meechygan lately too! Peppers suffer from heat.” Me: “…so you’re still doing the pepper thing, huh?” Mom: “Yeah, is good exercise! I got nothing else to do all day. What, I can’t vacuum, clean house every day! Peppers give me something to do! But Mommy getting old, I get tired working at farm all day. Before I work eight hours no problem, but now I get tired.” The medicine became extremely popular due to buy generic levitra the best ever effects that it gives and it is the only generic pill that does not disappoint anyone. The dosages are designed depending upon the degree of inability and body capacity. levitra prices browse this The causes of ED are numerous; from a wide variety online cialis prescriptions of kamagra products. The outer layer is constructed of many overlapping keratin cells that are arranged similar to how shingles are placed on tadalafil cheap prices a house. Me: “…so speaking of exercise,...

My mom makes the best mandu. For those unaware, mandu is a Korean dumpling that closely resembles gyoza. Mom’s mandu are so freaking tasty — she makes them big and stuffs them full of meat and veggies. I can easily polish off an entire platter of the stuff (all while she alternately tells me I’m fat while piling more food onto my plate); it’s like little fried pillows of crack. My sister recently visited Michigan with her kids for 10 days. The night before she was scheduled to fly back to Seattle, my mom called me. Me: “Hello?” Mom: Hi honeyyyyy!” Me: Hey Mom, what’s up?” Mom: “You want some mandu?” Me: “Huh?” Mom: “I make mandu. I freeze some, give to Mia and she bring in her suitcase. She take some, give you some!” Though you may find this weird, this is something my mom has done all too often. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve served as an unwilling courier between my sister and my mom. Mia would send frozen crab or fish with me (packed in dry ice), and I’d have to lug it to the airport and through Michigan to deliver it to my mom, and Mom would respond by sending me home with a ton of clothes and crap for my nephews as well as a few frozen bags of corn or salsa. I always hated being a pack mule, so the idea of my sister in this role for once made me happy. (Plus, as aforementioned, my mom’s mandu is delicious.) Me: “Sure, that’s fine.” Mom: “Okay, good. She get in midnight. I tell her to call you when she get in. You meet her halfway from airport to her house and she give you mandu.” Me: “Wait, what?” I’m not going to meet my sister in some back alley at 12:30 am for a mandu exchange. This isn’t a drug deal, for crying out loud. Mom: “Yeah, you get the mandu from her.” Me: “Why can’t I just get them from her later?” Mom: “Noooooo, you got to pick up the mandu! Her boyfriend gonna eat ’em all up!” Me, sighing: “Okay, I’ll get the mandu.” I didn’t get the...

Last week I was chatting with my mom over the phone when she casually brought up the fact that my stepdad’s birthday was Thursday. “Kuht birthday this Thursday,” she said, “and it be nice if you call and wish him happy birthday. Or send him card. No, call him. He so nice to all my kids and send money for all you birthdays! Thursday. You call.” I told her I’d ring him up on his birthday (though I suspect this gesture is more to make my mom happy than for her husband’s benefit). After a busy week and amidst an even busier weekend, my mom left a voicemail message for me on Saturday. It basically sounded like this: “Rebecca! Where are you? …..you supposed to call Kuht on Thursday, wish him a happy birthday! What happen? …..call me back. Mommy sad.” CLICK Oh shit. Shit. SHIT. I forgot to make the “happy birthday” call. Mom was going to kill me. There’s nothing quite like the wrath of a diminutive Asian woman. She was pissed and I was afraid. I knew I’d have to call her back and sit on the receiving end of a verbal beatdown, but since I was dreading the conversation, I didn’t return her call until Monday, at which point I figured I’d have to at least let her know I was alive and well and was instead only avoiding her out of fear for my own life. Jason and I were on our way to a Memorial Day dinner, so I called my mom while he was driving. Ring ring…ring ring… Me: “pleasegotovoicemailpleasegotovoicemail…” Mom: “Hello?” I cursed under my breath. Me: “Hi Mom, it’s me.” Mom: “REBECCA!!!” I gulped. Mom: “WHERE ARE YOU?!?!!” Me: “I’m on my way to a barbecue…I’m sorry! I forgot to call and I’m sorry!” Mom: “All my kids and grandkids call Kuht and wish him happy birthday…except one.” Me, sighing: “I know, I just totally forgot. I’m really sorry.” Mom: “I call and remind you last week and you forget to call??!” Me: “I know. I’m sorry.” At this point Jason is laughing over how many times the word “I’m sorry” has been uttered in a 90-second timeframe. Mom: “Maybe...

For Mother’s Day I sent my mom a bouquet of flowers from the local florist in her area. She was so tickled and impressed that I used a local vendor instead of some big stupid Internet company and declared me the flower victor over my sister, whose bouquet from 1-800-Flowers “look like-a beat up!” (She did keep the plastic vase my sister’s flowers came in, naturally, because my mom is a hoarder and because she “didn’t have a green vase.”) Another gift I sent Mom was a t-shirt that said “K is for Kimchi!” because I thought it would be a funny thing for my tiny Asian mom to wear. I ordered the t-shirt and had it shipped to her but didn’t tell her because I wanted it to be a surprise. Naturally, I received no mention of the shirt because Mom never tells me anything. Finally I caved and called her. Me: “Hey, did you get a t-shirt in the mail?” Mom: “Yeah. K for the kimchi?” I chuckled. Close enough. Me: “Uh, sure. When did you get it?” Mom: “Saturday.” I called her on a Monday. Me: “And you didn’t wonder where it came from?” Mom: “Yeah, I wonder. I ask Kuht if he buy for me. He say no. I say, ‘Damn Kuht, you don’t spend money on this stuff! Save you money for better things.'” I like how she thought, “Maybe my husband got this for me,” and once that trail led to a dead end she just gave up and assumed the shirt was standard-issue to all Koreans from the government or something. No questions asked. This has made a real difference in relationships and best price viagra in the confidence of many men. Erectile dysfunction is the inability to develop or maintain an erection for a long cheapest cialis professional period. This afterwards results in expanded blood stream to the penis https://unica-web.com/archive/2012/competition/juryvoting2012.pdf acquisition de viagra which in turn causes impotence or erectile dysfunction. For getting healthy and honest reviews, you can find a reliable online medical store and buy discounts on cialis check availability from shoppharmarx.com? Shoppharmarx.com is the best place , in term of the prices of cialis pills, and the quality of...

I live in Seattle, which is three hours behind Michigan in time zones. Normally when my mom calls, it’s later in the morning on the weekends or in the afternoon if it’s a weekday. She almost never calls too early because she knows about the time difference. Were she to actually phone me up earlier than 9 am, I’d assume it would be due to a family emergency or something urgent. Last month I was in Colorado for work (which is two hours behind Eastern Standard Time), and I was driving to the office when my phone started to ring. I fished it out of my purse and saw, to my surprise, that it was my mom. It was about 7:30 am PST and 8:30 in Colorado, on a weekday no less, so getting a phone call from Mom at this hour during the week was highly unusual. My mind immediately started to race with worst-case-scenario thoughts. Was someone injured or dead? Is Mom sick? What’s going on? I hesitated, then picked up the phone. Me: “Hello? Mom: “Hi honeyyyyyyy! What you doing?” Me: “Uh, I’m in Colorado this week. I’m driving to work.” Mom: “Oh, you in Colorado?” Me: “Yeah…” Mom: “You on your way to work now?” Me: “Yeah.” Mom: “Okay! …I’m driving too! Running errands.” Me: “Okay…” At this point I was wondering what the hell she was calling me for. It’s not like I don’t enjoy talking to my mom, especially considering how unintentionally hilarious she is, but this type of call was highly unusual. Mom: “I got a question for you.” Ah, so now the call makes sense. She needs me for something. Me: “Okay.” This disease is characterized by http://downtownsault.org/soo-theatre-project/ price of cialis painful and prolonged erection that lasts for more than 4 hours, you must seek an emergency help. Most of female along shop viagra with male patients complained of odd side-effect. In addition to that, the medication is available at a fraction of the discount levitra purchasing here price of the branded version, it might be more effective too. There’s a lot of hype surrounding generic drugs viagra vs generic these days. Mom: “How you spell ‘promise’?” Me: “…what?” Seriously, she...