Last weekend I did a long bike ride and developed what’s called a “saddle sore” (or a gigantic, mutated form of one) after riding 80 miles. I wrote about the whole awkward-yet-amusing ordeal on my athlete blog in case you’re interested in reading the backstory behind the grossest trip to the women’s health clinic ever. After I got back from the doctor, I had a chat with my mom and filled her in on what had happened. I didn’t know at the time that her attention was divided between our phone call and something else. Me: “Do you know what a cyst is?” Mom: “Yeah.” Me: “So I did a bike ride last weekend in Idaho and rode 80 miles, and I developed a cyst near my pubic bone so I had to go to the doctor.” Mom: “Oh my gahhhhhhh!! What they do?!” Me: “I went to the gynecologist and she drained it.” Mom: “Oh my gahhhh!!! What, the cyst? What they drain? Drain the wha, liquid?” Me: “Well yeah.” Mom: “Oh my gahhhhhh. It hurt!” Me: “Hell yeah it hurt, that’s what happens when a doctor uses a needle on your crotch!” We do this by sales viagra meditating and developing our intuition to know who to interact with and who not to interact with. The pills of this 100mg cialis canada cheap has to be taken by males over 18 years of age. Ache that arises during viagra price ovulation is non-recurring normally. This is particularly mandatory for devensec.com online viagra those upon nitrate drugs used by coronary heart patients.WARNINGS :Tadapox 20mg For Men Impotence to keep a few considerations in mind. Mom: “Be careful when you riding the bike!…I think bike ride have something to do with it!” I could hear her Eureka! moment over the phone, and I’d be proud of her deductive reasoning if I hadn’t just told her how I had gotten the cyst at the beginning of our conversation. Me: “I just told you it was from the bike ride!” Mom: “Well you better get rest! Don’t walk around…and stuff.” I don’t want to imagine what she meant by “and stuff.” Me: “Oh, it’s fine now. The doctor said I don’t...

For Mom’s birthday I opted to get her something every midwestern older woman would love: a gift certificate to Lord & Taylor. I ordered it from Amazon and had it shipped to her house. Unfortunately, she never received the gift card so now I’m stuck dealing with the vendor through Amazon to try and figure out a solution. In the meantime, Mother’s Day rolled around and I felt bad because her birthday gift never arrived so I tried to smooth things over by sending her some flowers. I used the same local florist as last year since she liked them so much. On Monday she called and left a voicemail to gush about the flowers (message transcribed below): Mom: Hi Rebeccaaaaaaa. I just got the flower this evening. It’s beautiful! You don’t have to do that! I just don’t want you to, you know, uh, miss the gift certificate. Lose somewhere. I just want you to find it, that’s all. It’s beautiful, Rebecca. Maroon and red roses. Lavender. Little flowers. Let me take a picture, something, send to you, okay? Tomorrow I’m gonna pick the herbs. Gimme a call when you get a chance, okay? Beautiful flowers, thank you. I love you. Bye. I was happy she liked the flowers, but the “Let me take picture and send to you” part confused me. Was she going to take a picture and make my brother upload it for her and email it to me or something? She’s never offered to send me pictures before. Logistically I couldn’t figure out how she’d pull it off in fewer than five steps. I didn’t really think much of it after the call until my phone buzzed at 6:00 yesterday morning. I groggily rolled over and pawed at my phone, and with one eye cracked open I saw the following images: Holy shit, my mom sent me picture mail! Mom actually managed to successfully do something remotely technologically savvy! I couldn’t believe it. Never in a million years would I have expected to receive a picture mail from my mom. I had long given up on her interest in or ability to do anything technologically associated with the late 20th or early 21st century....

Back in October when I visited my mom, her friend was gracious enough to let me and my boyfriend stay at her condo in Rochester Hills. The place was nice–two bedrooms, one and a half bathrooms, a nice kitchen and living room. There was also a washer and dryer that Jason and I were eager to use because we were going to be away from Seattle for a few weeks and would obviously need to wash our clothes at some point. During the middle of our stay we decided to fire up the washing machine to clean some of our sweaty exercise apparel. Jas loaded up the machine, added some soap, adjusted the settings, and closed the hall closet doors to muffle the sound of the machine in action. He then returned to his laptop to get a little bit of work done. I was also glued to my laptop while my mom puttered around in the kitchen getting things ready for dinner. And then: Mom: “Wahhhhhhh! My gahhhh!! Oh my gahhhhh!!!” Jas and I ran out of the bedroom to see what the hell my little Korean mom was hollering about and quickly determined the culprit: soap was leaking out from under the hall closet door. It was clearly coming from the washing machine, so we all scrambled to grab some towels and mop up the mess. Mom: “Wha happen? You break washing machine?” Jason: “No, I didn’t do anything wrong! I don’t know what’s wrong with it. Maybe it’s leaking.” Mom: “Door leaking?” Jason: “Yeah, it could be the door. I’m not sure.” The washing machine was a front loader, so a leak could be possible. Mom narrowed her eyes, suspicious. Mom: “How much soap you use?” Jason: “A normal amount.” On top of that, the huge cost of the leading branded ED cures has been tumbling from several years. cheapest viagra One last thing you should note is that the USCIS and Immigration Judges are not allowed to buying tadalafil raindogscine.com express their emotions or weakness in any form. Even, it can lead to osteoporosis in elderly people and those having a tough time facing raindogscine.com buy levitra online the aging process. Changing his diet to...

In the weeks leading up to my trip to Costa Rica, I would remind my mom that I was traveling to Central America for a week and she would respond the exact same way each time: Mom: “Oh my gahhhh. You be careful! My gah. You going with friends? Okay, good. You be careful. You go places with Jason–don’t go places by youself. My gah. I raise you all by myself! You my baby! I worry about you!” Since my mom is Internet-illiterate, I wasn’t going to be able to email her that we’d arrived safely, and since I didn’t want to rack up a huge cell phone fee by calling her, I told her that I would email my siblings and have them call her to let her know I was fine. My trip was fun and the race I had flown down to do, the Rev 3 half Ironman, went really well. I ended up taking second overall female, my best ever finish in a triathlon. When I got back home, I called my mom to let her know how my trip went. I was excited to tell her about my podium finish and was curious to hear how she’d react. Me: “Hey Mom.” Mom: “Hi honeyyyyy! You back?” Me: “Yeah, I got in late last night.” Mom, angrily: “You siblings never call me and tell me you get there safe!” Me: “Oh, sorry. I told them to let you know!” Mom: “Nobody tell Mommy anything!” Me: “Sorry.” I found myself apologizing for something that wasn’t remotely my fault. This tends to happen a lot when it comes to appeasing my mother. Mom: “How was trip? Nice?” Me: “Yeah, I had a good time.” Mom: “You have good race?” Me: “Yeah, I took 2nd overall female, so I was the second-fastest woman there.” Mom: “Whaaaaa, that’s a lot. Are you that tough?!” Me, laughing: “I guess!” Mom: “Wowww. You are my little baby!” Me: “Aww…” Mom: “…you were my wimpy baby! Ha-ha.” Increasing the semen volume purchase levitra online http://www.slovak-republic.org/about/ also enhances the body’s vigor and vitality. How does this common postural pattern produce compensatory buying this cialis properien hip, back and pelvic pain? Let’s embark by...

Last week I was working when my mom called. I had just spent a few days in Las Vegas so I figured she was calling me up to see how the trip went. We had just missed each other by a day–my mom was visiting her mother-in-law in Arizona and took a short trip to Las Vegas while she was there, but she had left on Sunday and I arrived in Vegas on Monday for work. (I imagine it would be both hilarious and exhausting to spend time with my mom in Sin City–on one hand, gambling with her would undoubtedly be amusing; on the other hand, I could easily see her getting crabbier and crabbier upon having to walk further than 50 feet at a time, and considering how huge and sprawling the casinos are, I’d probably have to resort to making a mom papoose and carrying her through the city like a joey). As usual, the phone call was full of gems: Mom: “Hi honeyyyyy! Just calling to see you back from Vay-gus.” Me: “Yeah, I got back yesterday.” Mom: “Good trip? You work hard?” Me: “Yeah, it was good. Got a lot done.” Mom: “That’s good. Good! How’s weather in Seattle?” Me: “Eh, kind of rainy and overcast. I guess on Tuesday it was really bad–slow and slush. Thankfully, I was in Las Vegas so I missed it.” Mom: “Ohhhhh yeah. It’s cold here in Meechygan. Weather so bad I stay home knitting my pants.” Apparently my mom’s latest hobby is knitting and crocheting, and she has taken to knitting herself entire wardrobe ensembles. Because, you know, knitted pants are all the rage. Me, chuckling: “I really need to see these pants you’re working on.” Mom, proud: “I already knit a pair! Black pants. I wearing them now! I don’t wanna take ’em off!” Me, smiling: “Of course you don’t.” Mom: “…anyway, I’m watching uh Wheel of Fortune.  There’s a purple shirt girl.” Me: “Okay…” The blood is gushed into the penis and does not go very discount viagra far. The doctor has two methods of determining pain during an examination for fibromyalgia, digital palpation and the use a dolorimetry (an instrument used to measure pain...

Mom doesn’t typically offer up her opinion of people, but when she does it’s often quite amusing. Recently my brother John emailed me with a random Mom gem. He said he was chatting with her on the phone when, without warning, she started to inexplicably rant about today’s youth. Apparently she was out running errands when a couple of teenage girls entered the establishment. Mom: “Then girl show up. My gahhhh. She show up, show off belly so proud. She wear shirt that only cover nipple! Then another girl show up. My gahhh! Why teenagers always want titty contest?!?!?” Herbal erection oil for men and the herbal pills helps to get wholesale sildenafil strong erection naturally. The sex pills for men will allow you to enhance their sexual overall performance, which may be used beneath the clinical supervision. most medicines available for reinforcing sexual performance are prescription based totally, so you need to quit alcohol, if you don’t want to see your penis shrinking. buy generic sildenafil Blood flow is enthused with straight contact on line cialis to the penis. This effect of Sildenafil eases the work load on viagra in the uk right ventricle thus reducing the intimacy momentum. I don’t know, Mom, your guess is as good as...

Quite randomly, I received an email from a PR rep who was promoting Korean food maker CJ‘s new line of pantry items. Called “CJ Bibigo,” they include sauces, pastes, seasonings, and snacks. It’s not the first time I’ve been offered free goodies for blogging–my boyfriend and I used to write for a food site and scored free samples of See’s Candies for an obscenely long time period. However, I was especially geeked out to get a bunch of sample Korean food because 1. I love Korean food, obviously, and 2. I wanted to hear how my mom would react. The problem was that my mom still doesn’t know about this blog, so I was going to have to figure out how to explain that I got a bunch of free Korean food samples without spilling the beans about MKM (not that I think she’d be upset or angry if she found out; I just think it’s more amusing that she doesn’t know about it for now). I received my package of free goodies and called my mom to share the good news. Me: “So you know how I do a lot of writing for work?” Mom: “Yeah.” Me: “Well, I got contacted by a Korean food company because, uh, I’m Korean and I write…so, uh, they sent me a bunch of free samples.” Mom: “Oh yeah?” Me: “Yeah, it’s pretty cool, I got a lot of stuff.” Mom: “Ohhh…” [laughing] ‘Wowwww!” She was incredulous. “What kind?” Me: “CJ Bibigo.” Mom: ” Ohhhh, CJ is good! CJ is best quality food company!” I started laughing really hard. Me: “Really?” Mom: “Yeah, best brand. Other brands okay but CJ is top. Man, I wish I were there!” A note to CJ foods: you couldn’t have asked for a more singing, unprompted endorsement than the one my mom gave over the phone. Me: “So you could sample the food with me?” Mom: “Yeah. How you get again? How they send to you?” Me: “Uh…you know, because I write. They saw some of my writing.” Mom: “Where they see?” Me: “Online…” Quick, change the subject! “You wanna hear what I got?” Mom: “Yeah, what’d you get?” I ran through the list of products....