And My Mom’s Favorite Seattle Seahawks Player Is…

Surprisingly enough, despite my mom’s overall sports illiteracy, she does watch games. Okay, it’s mostly so she can make bets with her husband, but hey, those are just details. Last year, you may recall my little Korean mother rooting for the Seattle Seahawks and winning a whopping $20 when they clinched the championship. This year she remains a Seahawks fan, but when I asked her who her favorite player was, things got interesting.

Me: “Are you watching the Super Bowl today? Did you make a bet as to who will win?”

Mom: “Yes baby Go Seahawks bet with Kurt $100 .00 :D”

Me: “Who’s your favorite Seahawks player?”

Mom: “Quarter big mouth ha ha”

Jason and I both tried and failed to decipher who she was talking about. Russell Wilson is a quarterback but he doesn’t have a big mouth. Richard Sherman has a big mouth but he’s not a quarterback. What does it mean?!

Unable to identify who she meant, I asked for clarification.

Me: “Who’s that?”

Mom: “Bj daniels I like Running back Marsh Lynch Go go go bad boys :D”

“Marsh” Lynch is, as I’m sure you can guess, Marshawn Lynch. A popular choice, sure. And okay, so my mom, much like many women, has a soft spot for “bad” boys. That’s not terribly surprising.
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But B.J. Daniels?! He’s a backup quarterback for the Seahawks, is in his second season and, to my knowledge, has never played an NFL game before. I had to look up his non-stats because I had no idea who he was. My mother’s favorite Seattle Seahawks is a dude who played for South Florida, was drafted in the seventh round by the San Francisco 49ers, and majored in Criminology. Is she really impressed with the way he cheers from the sidelines or something? Does she have a soft spot for 26-year old dudes with Criminology degrees? Why, Mom, why? How does that brain of yours work?

My response: “Haha, you’re funny”

Without skipping a beat, she fired back with: “Your Mom is Cool !!!!”

She’s weird as hell, but yes, I’d have to agree that my mom is pretty damn cool. Also, hey, B.J. Daniels, your biggest fan may very well be a 60-something diminutive Korean woman who lives in Michigan. So you’ve got that going for you. (Oh, and go Seahawks!)

UPDATE:

A couple hours after our initial exchange, my mom followed up with this gem that I’m sharing in all its unedited glory:

Mom: “Rebecca I got the all the name wrongl like quarterback Russell where is some and then running back longhair Bigmouth !”

Based on those descriptions, I’m guessing she got B.J. Daniels confused with Russell Where-is-some and also wanted to say that she’s a fan of Marshawn Lynch, aka “Longhair Bigmouth.” Sorry, B.J., but at least you went two glorious hours thinking that my mom was your biggest fan.

image credit: Wikipedia