That One Time Mom Accidentally Briefly Had a Facebook Account

On Monday I went through a roller coaster of emotions that ranged from fear, confusion, amusement, frustration, and relief. Jason and I had the day off from work so we went to catch a movie at the theater. As the pre-trailer ads and commercials aired, I went to silence my phone and noticed a Facebook friend request that made my heart skip a beat.

It was my MOM.

My first reaction was this:

My second reaction was to panic as my brain struggled to recall all of the questionable status updates, pictures, and links on my Facebook profile that would cause my mom to screech out a “MY GAHHHHHHH” and yell at me for 45 minutes over the phone. I didn’t want to deny my mom’s friend request but I couldn’t exactly approve it with no settings modified to control what she could see from my account, so I waited until I got home to figure out what to do.

I decided to text my Mom about her joining Facebook to see what on earth prompted her to do so other than to snoop in on what her kids were up to. The resulting conversation is below:

Needless to say, I was confused. Why would my mom create a Facebook account but enter her birthday incorrectly? And why was she intent on not having too many friends?

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Mom then called me to explain. All of this came about because the Korean American Association my mom’s a member of decided to switch from mailing a physical newsletter to their members to emailing it to them. Of course, my mom did not have an email account so her friend Julie helped set one up for her. Apparently her friend then went rogue and decided to use my mom’s new email address to create a Facebook account on her behalf without bothering to check and see whether or not my mom even wanted one in the first place. Her friend then started adding family members, which is how I ended up getting a friend request.

When I texted Mom about the Facebook account, all this, she was pissed and wanted me to delete the account for her.

Mom, angrily: “Why I care what people doing on Facebook? I don’t! If I want to know, I call them! I don’t need no Facebook!”

I listened to her rant for another minute while suppressing giggles, then got her email login from her so I could sign into Facebook and deactivate her account for her. Crisis averted. My mom was accidentally on Facebook for about a day and gave me a heart attack before all was well in the world again…

…until I realized that my mom now has an email account and can email me whatever and whenever she wants. FML.