Failing the Squeeze Test

Aug 25

Failing the Squeeze Test

I mentioned before how Mom scrutinizes her kids’ weight. Last October I visited Michigan, and from a self esteem standpoint the trip didn’t go well. Not only did I find out that my visit was poor timing due to Mom’s pepper obsession, my little Korean mother obliterated any positive body issues I had in just four short days.

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Mom’s Favorite Hobby

Aug 23

Mom’s Favorite Hobby

My mom has one hobby that we know of, and that is the planting, growing, picking, and selling of hot peppers. She complains about it so much that for the longest time I thought she hated growing peppers, but then one day it dawned on me that, despite her constant complaints and belly aching, she actually loves doing it. Don’t let the constant “Mommy break back in field allllll day long picking damn pepper!” moanings fool you — she loves that shit.

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In Love with That Green Boy

Aug 20

In Love with That Green Boy

My mom knows nothing about video games other than the fact that my brothers and I enjoy playing them. Whenever she’d see me playing Zelda, she’d just roll her eyes and say, “Rebecca playing that Green Boy again. Aaaaaalways playing Green Boy. She in love with that Green Boy!” After a while, my brother John would bait Mom into making a funny “Green Boy” comment by asking her what I was playing. It quickly became a running joke in the house that I was in love with Green Boy.

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Mom’s Little Cornbread Baby

Aug 18

Mom’s Little Cornbread Baby

My mom has often referred to me as her little Cornbread Baby, which is a random nickname to bestow upon your child (I’m used to “Becca” or “Bec” as the more conventional monikers). As always, there’s a Mom Story behind the nickname that makes perfect sense to her but leaves us scratching our heads.

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My Weakly Medicated Mom

Aug 17

My Weakly Medicated Mom

My mom is notoriously wimpy when it comes to medication. (And why wouldn’t she be? The woman is five foot nothing, one hundred and nothing pounds. A Flintstones vitamin would provide her with a week’s worth of dietary supplements.) We make a lot of jokes about Mom’s inability to handle adult doses of medicine. The running joke among my siblings is that a dose of Children’s Tylenol can wipe her out for a couple days. (I’m exaggerating, of course. It’s probably more like a half a dose.)

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