Mom Can’t Spell, But She Makes a Good Effort

Recently, one of my aunts fell ill and passed away. I was unable to fly to Michigan to attend the funeral because I had a conflicting trip booked, but my mom and oldest brother assured me my extended family would understand and that I could send some sympathy cards and pitch in for a flower arrangement.

My sister Mia and brother Gene both flew in to attend the funeral and visit family. I was a little sad to have missed the trip because my family and I haven’t all been together since my brother John’s wedding 13 years ago. John spent the week sending me various pictures of everyone and basically making me feel like a jealous turd for missing out.

Last night, my mom texted me a picture of her and my siblings:

L to R: John, Mia, Mom, Gene

For the record, my brothers are 6’2″ and 6’3″, whereas my mom is barely 5 feet tall, my sister is about 5’3″, and I’m 5’5″ (my dad is about 5’10”). We joke that since my mom is the tallest person in her family, she passed the “tall” gene onto my brothers.

She followed that picture up with this text:

Oh man.

After noticing that the last picture she sent me (a photo of my sister and her two boys posing with my stepdad) was accompanied by nothing but the letter ‘P’, it took me a couple reads before I realized my mom was trying to spell the word “midget.” When I finished dying from laughter, I showed the text to Jason, who had a similar reaction.
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An hour after I received the text, I had a missed call and a voicemail from my mom, which is transcribed below:

Mom: “Hey Rebecca, 7:30. Remember I send you pick-sure you brothers, me, and Mia.”

Yes, Mom, I remember events from an hour ago.

Mom: “Two middle one.”

I like how she felt the need to identify herself and my sister in the picture as if I was unsure who was who.

Mom: “I try to say we look like a midget, me and Mia. Compared to two boys. I don’t know how to spell ‘midget’! Okay! So that means ‘midget’.”

Thanks for the clarification, Mom.