Twisting the Dagger

I called my mom over the weekend and got her voice mail, so I left a message that I wasn’t entirely convinced she would get since I seriously don’t know if she knows how to check her phone messages. On Sunday I called her again and still got no answer, so this time I hung up without leaving a message. Later that day, she called me back.

Me: “Hello?”

Mom: “Rebecca!”

Oh crap, what’d I do? Mom always addresses me one of two ways on the phone. If she starts with “Hi honeyyyyyy!” or “Hi bay-beeeee!”, she’s in a good mood and I have not wronged her. If, on the other hand, she begins with a stoic “Rebecca,” either I’ve done something wrong or she’s pissed off for some reason.

To my surprise, her stern salutation was a false alarm and she was in a good mood. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Mom: “I saw you call — we were at Meijer. What you been doing?”

Me: “Not much. We had Jason’s parents over for dinner last night.”

Mom: “Oh really?”

Me: “Yeah, we made a prime rib roast.”

Mom: “Whoa, really? It turn out good?”
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Me: “Yeah, really good.I made some roasted potatoes and chard to go with it. Today I made some biscuits and gravy for breakfast, and Jas ate so much, he said he felt like he was gonna die.”

Mom: “Ha ha ha!”

Me, on a roll: “On Friday I made a beef stir fry with spicy peanut sauce and crispy noodles.”

Mom: “Wow, you turning into really good cook!”

Me on the other line:

Mom: “…except for peppers.”

Me on the other line: