My Mom at the Movies

My mom will occasionally go see a movie. I’ve accompanied her on a couple occasions, as has my brother John. I’m not sure how much she enjoys watching movies, but seeing them with her is always a treat, mostly because watching her reactions and listening to her review afterward is easily more entertaining than the movie itself.

Below are a few movies we’ve seen with Mom:

Saving Private Ryan

John and I headed out to go see Saving Private Ryan. On our way out, he said, “Mom, we’re going to the movies.”

Mom: “What you gonna see?”

John: “Saving Private Ryan.”

Mom: “Oh.”

Awkward silence.

John: “Uhhh…do you want to come?”

Mom: Pause. “Ok.”

So we took my little Korean mother to see Saving Private Ryan. She sat through that movie and let out a series of groans and sad noises as she watched the carnage that was D-Day and WWII. The audience was mostly quiet, stunned at the tragedy that unfolded onscreen.

In one scene, a soldier had his head blown clean off his shoulders. One minute it was there, and the next — gone. Right after it happened, my mom turned to me and said loudly, “Rebecca…he die.”

Autumn in New York

Mom is totally in love with Richard Gere. One day we went shopping and, out of the blue, she proclaimed that she wanted to see “that Ree-churd Gear movie…New York Fall.” We caught a matinee of Autumn in New York, a turd of a flick about a terminally ill Winona Ryder who lets Richard Gere heave his old balls on top of her and romance her until she quite predictably dies at the end.

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I laughed and told her that if we wanted to see it again, we’d have to buy two more tickets, then I stopped chuckling when I saw that she was actually considering it. Thankfully, we did not take in a double-viewing of a forgettable Richard Gere film that day.

Richard Gere Redux

In 2002, my mom found herself divorced and with 3 of her 4 children living on the west coast. She started spending more time with my brother John and his new wife. John noticed that she seemed a bit depressed at the time. He and his wife, Lori, had planned on seeing a movie but they didn’t want to leave her alone and having a bummerfest.

John: “Mom…we were thinking of seeing a movie. Do you want to come?”

Her eyes lit up.

Mom: “Ohhh…there’s a new Richard Gere movie out!” (Of course there was.)

John: “What’s the name of it?”

Mom: “Uhhh…I don’t know…check in paper.”

He found out the movie was titled “Unfaithful” and was showing later that evening. John had no idea what the movie was about, but they decided to go. There weren’t a lot of people in the theater, but it wasn’t close to empty. They sat towards the back near some older folks, and soon the movie started.

To my oldest brother’s horror, the movie was about a woman played by Diane Lane who cheated on her husband (Richard Gere) with some greasy French dude. There were several sex scenes. My poor brother was watching this movie with his new wife AND OUR MOM.

My mom remained silent throughout the entire movie, except for one scene. The greasy French dude grabbed Diane Lane in a stairwell and started to, uh, service her from behind. My brother was extra uncomfortable. Mom couldn’t take it anymore.

Mom, exclaiming loudly: “OH! HE ANIMAL!!!”

Of course, the other people in the theater (who were equally uncomfortable) looked over at them as John slunk down in his chair. My mom, satisfied she had pointed out the major flaw in the French guy’s character, remained silent for the rest of the movie. John later told me that, unsurprisingly, it was a long, awkward ride home.