Pre-Ironman Words of Encouragement from Mom

On Sunday I completed my first Ironman. I had been training for the race for the past several months and recently conquered the distance for the first time. A couple days before the race, I called my mom to remind her of what I’d be doing all day Sunday since she was too busy with her peppers to fly out and cheer me on. The call went about how you’d expect.

Me: “My big race is on Sunday.”

Mom: “Oh-kayyyy honey. I tell Kurt [my stepdad] about you race and he think it’s cool.”

Me: “Really? What’d he say?”

Mom: “He say, ‘That’s cool.”

Me: “Oh…do you remember what the race is?”

Mom: “…no.”

So Mom’s telling my stepdad about my “big race,” but she has no idea what the race entails. At least she sort of remembered that I was even doing a race. Baby steps.

Me: “It’s a triathlon. Do you remember what a triathlon is?”

Mom: No.”

Me: Silence.

Mom, indignantly: “Mommy old!” Yes, that was her excuse.

Me: “A triathlon is a race where you swim, then bike, then run. I’m doing an Ironman, so I’m going to swim 2.4 miles…”

Mom: Silence.

Me: “…then bike 112 miles…”

Mom: “Whaaaaa?”

Me: “…and then run 26.2 miles.”
They sign up willy nilly for this Affiliate Program, and that respitecaresa.org cialis price Affiliate Program, but hardly ever make a sale. They find themselves unable generic cialis to do things that appear normal for men their age. European doctors have sent their patients with the liver, pancreas, and digestive problems after gallbladder removal surgery to drink geyser mineral water in Karlovy Vary for many years. respitecaresa.org cialis uk generic cialis http://respitecaresa.org/birdies-for-charity-is-coming/ Black gram contains plenty of potassium.
Mom: “Oh my gahhh, you gonna DIE.”

Me, laughing: “I’m not going to die, Mom. I’ll be fine.”

Mom: “They have doctors there?”

Me: “Yeah, there are lots of doctors and volunteers. It’s very well organized.”

Mom, unconvinced: “You gonna die.”

Me: “I am not! I’ve been training all year for this. It’s gotten me in really good shape and it’s good exercise.”

Mom: “Is too much exercise! You do too much. Do other things.”

Me: “I have been doing other things…I’ve been swimming, biking, and running.”

Mom: “What you get for doing race? You get a prize?”

Me: “Uh, I get a t-shirt and a medal.”

Mom: “…that’s it?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Mom: “No money?!”

Me, sighing: “No, not at the level I’m at. Just a medal and a t-shirt. Is that not enough?”

Mom: “No, you should get money or something.”

So there you have it. My mom a) didn’t remember the race I had repeatedly told her I was training all year for, b) said I was going to die when I reminded her about the race, and c) was disappointed that I wasn’t going to win any money or receive an adequate prize upon completion. I knew I should have taken up figure skating — that’s something she can wrap her head around.