The “Extreme Weather” Phone Call is as Right as Rain

Of my siblings, my brother John is the only one who remains in Michigan. As such, he gets to experience the bulk of Mom’s, well, Mom-ness. He told me that whenever there’s extreme weather of any sort (when it’s either really hot or really cold), he always has the exact same conversation with Mom over the phone.

The following example is from a very cold day (of which there are many in the Great Lakes state, so you can imagine how often John gets this phone call:

Mom: “Hiiiii.”

John: “Hi, Mom.  How are you?”

Mom: “Gooooood.  Pause.  “Soo…whatchoo doin?”

John: “Nothing really…didn’t work today because of the weather.”

Mom: “Yeah…I know…so terrible outside.”  Pause.  “Sooo…what you girls doing?” (My oldest brother has two daughters.)

John: “They are playing in the basement.”

Pause.

Mom: “You going anywhere today?”

John: “Probably not…I…”

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Never mind the fact that my brother is a grown adult and a responsible parent; in my mother’s mind, he’s too dense to comprehend that he should dress his children in warm clothing and make sure they don’t freeze to death. Apparently wild dogs take better care of their pups than my brother with his kids.

Another version of this call is as follows:

Mom: “What you girls doing?”

John: “They are playing outside in the snow.”

(Mom gasps)

Mom: “Outside now?!?!  Is freezing!  They dress warm???”

John (jokingly): “No, they’re wearing their pajamas, and I think one of them is in flip-flops.”

(Even bigger gasping sound over the phone)

Mom: “My gaaaaaahhh!  JOHNNN!!!  DRESS THEM WARM!!!!”

Like clockwork, I tell ya.